I’m exhausted, you’re exhausted. Not a “hot off the press” observation is it? How does all this exhaustion impact our daily lives and decisions though?
I started to get curious on this general topic because I started noticing some patterns in my own behavior and I wanted to know if that was because I was exhausted, my life choices were evolving or, well, just what the heck was going on??
Ironically, as I have continued reading, The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self – Not Just Your “Good Self- Drives Success and Fulfillment this topic came up! (This book really does provide some great research studies and insights).
First, I learned that mentally exhausted people tend to be less inhibited in a conversation about personal differences. Being less verbally inhibited struck a huge chord with me. I find that the more exhausted I am, the more to-the-point I am. Quite simply, I am too tired to mince words. While I’m always still polite and say appropriate things, I just speak from the heart from the outset rather than beat around the bush or wait to feel the vibe of everyone else first. Again, not at all to say I am rude or inappropriate in any way, I just know that if I mince my words the conversation will be longer than it would be if I didn’t or perhaps longer than it even needs to be. And I’m generally way too tired for a long, drawn-out conversation and I am also lacking the focus for one.
So, is my exhaustion that causes me to be less verbally inhibited a bad thing? I often wonder if it has resulted in a good change. I know I’ve wrapped up these interactions on a more enjoyable note. And in my reading, I learned that in such situations, mentally exhausted people generally come away from these interactions having enjoyed them 250+% more. That feels about right for me. So, this seems like a win for me and I hope (at least I haven’t had any issues or complaints from others about it) that it is for those I’m interacting with as well.
This lack of inhibition doesn’t stop there. I also find that I make decisions quicker when I am exhausted. I’m much more spontaneous when making them. Again, I’ve asked myself, is this a bad thing? So far it hasn’t been. Maybe because I’m conservative by nature and that subconsciously factors itself into the equation a bit. Whatever it is, it’s been fun to say the least.
Once again i turned to The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self – Not Just Your “Good Self- Drives Success and Fulfillment, for insight and answers. In reading further I learned that being spontaneous creates a mixed blend of anxious and curious emotions; it can make us feel more alive and fully ourselves. There’s no false pretenses, no worries about making a bad impression before taking the leap.
Since I’ve been sick, there’s been more times where I don’t feel quite like me. More like a shell of me, half there, half asleep (ironic, if only I could sleep!). However, by being a bit spontaneous I feel like I’m gaining back some control over my life. Quicker decisions also means I’m getting more done. And goodness knows I need all the help I can get in that area; I’m often too tired to get just my daily tasks done.
And what I love is that I haven’t yet felt impulsive. Impulsive seems different to me - something that can come with regrets. While I feel I’m being much more spontaneous, I haven’t regretted a thing. I’ve actually loved it all. Perhaps again that’s my general tendency to be conservative making sure behind-the-scenes my spontaneity isn’t getting too out-of-control. Whatever it is, it’s working.
So, all in all, I still wish I wasn’t exhausted. But if that’s what life is dishing out, I’m going be darn sure that I make the best of it. And so far these effects seem to be positive all around.
What about you? What have you found your exhausted self doing that you didn’t used to do or do as much? Is it working to your advantage? Disadvantage? Any additional tricks of the (exhaustion) trade to add to the mix?
Todd Kashdan, PhD, and Robert Biswas-Diener, Dr. Philos. (2014), “The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self – Not Just Your “Good Self- Drives Success and Fulfillment.” New York, New York: Hudson Street Press
Lisa, this was a wonderful post. I have been suffering with exhaustion for a long time. I did everything you described in this post. I was polite but blunt, avoided conversations at times I felt to tired to deal with it, etc... Although at times I do find these small perks as that, perks, I would give that all up to experience a great day anytime.
I can relate to the everyday exhaustion now that I am disabled. For some reason, I used to be able to be really active and my brain worked at maximum compacity when I was exhausted now if I get up that morning and my body is exhausted I dont get up. I am sitting still and relaxing. If my kids or husband asks me to do something, I dont when I used to. It sucks sometimes but I have learned to adjust. Great read!
I can completely empathise with this, Lisa - I too regularly feel like a shell of myself! Funnily enough before my illness really took hold, I was a night Sister in a hospice working 2 nights a week plus daytime admin whilst juggling with 3 young kids. I was so tired all the time, yet it was nothing compared to the fatigue and exhaustion I often feel now! I hope that you don't mind but I have shared your link on my regular PainPalsBlog feature Midweek Magic - Inspiring Blogs for You, Claire x
Great read! Usually when I'm exhausted I feel more relaxed when it comes to conversations. Noticed this also to really important ones where I feel calm and easy going.
I can see that. I am a lot more blunt than I used to be. But that being said I have been drained for a long time. And sometimes I don't want to even put the effort into putting my point of view out there or talking or doing anything. But, yes, now, I am very on point. Problem is with brain fog I may not exactly be... articulate. Unless it is written word. Verbally, there is no spellcheck for my befuddled brain.