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Writer's pictureLisa Alioto

Choosing Love, Joy, and Happiness


Love, joy, and happiness…  Arguably, some of the best emotions that are out there.  Yet some choose instead to see the glass half empty, rather than half full.  To see the problem over the solution.  To predict failure over success.


These are all choices that we consciously make and we each have our own valid reasons for our choices.  Is one better than the other?   One viewpoint certainly does seem to be brighter than the other, more conducive to success but I’m not so sure I would say one is right or wrong over the other.


Choosing vs. Being


I fully believe that these things are a choice. We aren’t predetermined to be unhappy or focused on failure over success.  We aren’t born with a problem-oriented disposition.  And while our past experiences may lead us more easily down one path than the other, still, we choose our path. 


Why Not Chose Love, Joy, and Happiness?


As a strongly optimistic person myself, many people ask me why I constantly see the upside to everything.   Why don’t I presume that the project will fail, that the worst will happen, or that the odds are against me?   


I’ve especially gotten this question since I got a chronic illness.  Many have even told me it’s impossible for me to have my happy disposition with my illness.  That I can’t possibly believe and chose love, joy, and happiness over all else when given the opportunity.  That my future just isn’t that bright.   To them I say, my illness isn’t me.  I am so much more than my illness.   And maybe even because of my illness, I’m even inspired moreso to choose happiness every moment I can.


Is Choosing Love, Joy and Happiness Just Setting Yourself Up for Failure?


Admittedly, failures happen.  While I may have chosen to view something as ending up happily, it may not.   Many have told me that they would prefer to not set their expectations high so they won’t be disappointed.  And that they would prefer not to make themselves vulnerable to another so as to avoid getting hurt.  To a point, I get this.  Disappointment can be a hard dish to take, especially on a particularly challenging day.  But is this a way of life?  To constantly assume doom and gloom and be happy only when it doesn’t happen?   It seems like you are missing out on a lot of joy with this perspective, the joy that comes with love and all kinds of successes.  Personally, I prefer to hope for the best and accept the rest. 


If you Think It….


On a final note, I am a believer that if you think it, believe in it, visualize it, it’s more likely to come to you.  There are many books on this – stating that if you believe something will happen you naturally set up the environment to increase the chances of it happening.  Therefore, you are more likely to experience success. 


To the contrary, if you believe a project will fail you likely won’t put as much effort into it.  The less effort you put into it, the less likely you will be to succeed.   Similarly, if you don’t fully go in on a relationship, you won’t experience the full joys of being in one.  You may even quickly feel disappointment from it.


Just my Thoughts; What’s Yours?


What are your thoughts on love, joy, and happiness?  Do you go all in for it or do you prefer to wait for the outcome before experiencing these emotions?  Do you choose to be glass half full or half empty?   What’s your chain of thought on this?

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