It seems as though one day you go from being your parent’s child to their adult son or daughter. It doesn’t seem like much should change, but some things do and some things don’t. Adulting.. there’s a lot to it!
What changes:
It may no longer be assumed that your parents are picking up the tab for a dinner out. They may now expect you to start, or at least offer, to pick up your portion of the bill.
While most parents will still be there for advice, they may start taking a step back and let you take the lead on the big decisions in your life. This can be a bit scary. When you are used to being able to rely on their experience and wisdom, suddenly being the one calling the shots can be a bit unsettling. What is key is realizing that your parents have spent the last 18 years instilling in you the good reasoning and decision-making skills that you need to make the tough choices. They trust in you to now make them; embrace that trust and trust yourself to make them too.
Part and parcel, sometimes your parents will let you make mis-steps, even a bit costly mis-steps. These mis-steps can create great life lessons. While they aren’t always fun, know that will provide great value down the line and that your parents are always there in the background for support and to help you get through any tough times.
Sibling relationships may change. The playing field shifts a bit when you transition to adulthood. What your younger siblings perceive may be a bit different though. They may now see you as having all these privileges they feel they should have too. Don’t hesitate to remind them that with them comes responsibilities. Being the big sister or brother, you can start to pave the way to their transition to adulthood by sharing this with them.
What doesn’t change:
Your parents will be your parents forever. No matter how old you get, you can still call them for advice on big and little matters. They love you and are your biggest fans. Whether you are 20 or 40, your parents will be there for you, no matter the blunder or the success.
When you are sick or troubled, they are still always the safe haven they have been your entire life. While they may step back and let you work through your troubles a bit more on your own, they will still always be there. There really is no place like home.
Lastly, they will never stop preparing you for life and being there for the tough decisions. Don’t hesitate to reach out – while they want you to learn to fly, they also are still okay with being your safe place to land, especially in your younger years. While they may not proactively offer advice as often, they most likely will be more than happy to share advice when asked.
Transitioning to adulthood comes with many changes. My best advice is to trust in the great values, experiences, and decision-making skills that your parents have instilled in you. While some of their life lessons may not have made sense at the time, they will be priceless to you going forward. Most of all, know that you’ve got this. You really do!
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