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Writer's pictureLisa Alioto

Invisible or Visible: There’s No Wrong Choice

Depending on the situation or who we are interacting with, we may portray ourselves in different ways.   We often strive to be the person we need to be to achieve optimal success in the moment. 


In some situations, we may find ourselves to be the planner, the delegator or leader.  In other situations, perhaps in areas or with people we are less familiar with, we may find ourselves being more introverted, a follower, or an observer.   All are essential roles and equally valuable.


Life with a chronic illness is much the same for a variety of different reasons.  Each day, each encounter we have, we have the opportunity to choose what version of ourselves we wish to show.  While there is no shame in showing our symptoms to the outside world, many of us choose to make them as invisible as possible when we leave the confines of our home. For us though, that means more than just putting on a smiling face. It often comes at a cost. Whether we choose to bear that cost is something for each of us to decide.


If we choose to conceal it though, I think we need to be careful to remember why we are doing so. We shouldn’t be ashamed of that side of ourselves or let it make us feel less than in any way because neither of those things are true. None of us chose our illness; we have no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. It is just what life unfortunately dished out us.


All that said, it really comes down to what you are comfortable with. If you want to share yourself, all of yourself, with the world, go bravely and boldly! If you want to keep parts of your illness to yourself, you have every right in the world to do so. It’s your body and your decision. Everyone needs to do what feels right to them – there is no “wrong” here. There is only what is right for you.


So whatever version of yourself you choose to share with the world, share it with pride and confidence. If you bare all or share less, it’s what inside that matters the most. And on the inside, you are still the amazingly strong and resilient person that is overcoming challenge after challenge. I once read that it’s the people who have been through the most difficult of times that emerge with hearts as warm as gold and cores made of fire. How true is that statement! That is us! And that’s the kind of strength we all should be proud of.




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