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Writer's pictureLisa Alioto

Is Crying a Sign of Weakness?


Quite to the contrary, crying is a sign of strength.  Letting ourselves be a little vulnerable and giving ourselves that release is not only a sign of confidence, strength and bravery, it’s also quite healthy.


I’ve often heard the phrase real men don’t cry.  To me, the better phrase is men do cry too!  In fact, I think we could all use a good healthy cry every now and again.  Sometimes it’s the best way to release pent up feelings that otherwise could bottle up into something bigger or come out in an unhealthy or harmful way.


If you’ve read at least a few of my articles, you will know that I often say that every emotion has a purpose.   Fear signals us to proceed with caution; guilt serves as our moral compass, and tears…. well, they are a sign that something has hurt or disappointed us.


Lets face it, life isn’t all roses.   Hurt and disappointment happens.  Sometimes moments of growth can follow it.  Sometimes, it’s just simply pain that needs an outlet.  Giving ourselves this outlet by crying can literally be a way of “washing away” some of the pain being felt.


Quite often though we stave away the tears and try to “tough it out.”  Admittedly, this can be quite helpful at times, especially when tears are not appropriate for the occasion.  Holding in our feelings as a general practice though can oftentimes be unhealthy.  It can cause our feelings of pain, hurt, and disappointment to accumulate, bringing us to a breaking point. None of us wants to go there.


I think that it takes bravery to let ourselves embrace each moment, the good and the bad.  I used to be the type of person that bottled up my feelings but as I’ve aged, I’ve quickly come to learn that no good comes from doing that as a general practice.  It would cause me to build up resentment toward a particular person or thing.  It would also cause me to “sit” with angry feelings for an extended period of time.  A period of time that was not necessary if I just let myself “live in the moment,” be a bit vulnerable and express my emotions.  Whether that means a good cry, a courageous conversation, or a heart-to-heart moment with a loved one, the outcome of taking this route has always produced better results for me with both the relationship and with my own emotional health.


And let’s not forget that tears aren’t just associated with pain or disappointment. There’s always tears of joy! And those are tears that are worth celebrating! 

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