The Self-Acceptance Challenge

How many times have you thought – it can’t get any worse? Or, I can’t believe I couldn’t remember that – what’s happening to me? What about Why can’t I sleep??? Everyone else seems to be able to do it just fine. Or, Another stumble, why do I keep bumping into things? How embarrassing.

Ahhh… the thoughts that run through our mind way too often. If you are anything like me, when these types of thoughts run through your mind, they don’t make for pleasant moments. While we certainly shouldn’t feel embarrassed, the reality is that sometimes it’s hard not to. Sometimes we just want to blend but our conditions go beyond what we can handle. So, what do we do?

I think, for me, self-acceptance has been a recurring theme for handling these instances. Learning to be okay with it all. However, that is easier said than done. Sometimes I can blow off these moments without a second thought. Other days, I dwell on them. I know what I should have known or know I wouldn’t have normally verbally or physically stumbled if I hadn’t been sick. And then I dwell on why I’ve been dwelling on it because I know it all only brings me to a place of sadness and sometimes even a place of fear.

Every day is a new day though and every day I try a bit harder to have less “dwelling” moments and more “easy breezy” moments. There’s a handful of things that I say to myself:

· You can only control what you can control; release the rest.

· You are doing everything medically possible that you can to help your situation.

· It’s okay; you’ve been here before and you got through it just fine.

· It’s (unfortunately) just part of the illness; don’t let this alarm you.

· It’s okay to be sad sometimes, you’ve had losses, just don’t dwell. Let light in.

Words… These are just a bunch of words put together to help me get through my day. And they do. Put together they can be quite powerful. You hear people talk about the power of words; it is true. It’s not just the words we speak out loud but the words we say to ourselves and the thoughts that we have about ourselves that shape our mood, affect our self-esteem, and also our stress levels. For all these reasons and more, I’ve found it imperative to find ways to accept the unacceptable. It’s good for me and it’s good for my health.

Acceptance doesn’t mean being happy with the situation; it simply means finding a level of peace with it. Finding a way to not only live with it but ways to go beyond it and carve out our own slices of happiness, joy and gratitude. These moments are likely going to continue to happen, but I feel like if I can bury them in my hobbies, relationships, and other activities, the impact they have on my mind will take a step down.

Self-acceptance in a life with a chronic illness isn’t easy. But it may just be the easiest way to have a chronic illness.